Quitting my job, aimless wanderings, hits and misses and the simplicity of happiness.
The year was 2017.
I watched dust mixed with soot as cars and jeepneys went by, while I sat on a stool in a canteen near my office one sweltering summer afternoon. Lunchtime was over, but I still had a few minutes to spare.
The scenario would always be the same. I had taken notice of the routine only after a year. It kinda flicked a switch that prompted me to evaluate my career. And the outlook? It wasn't very pretty.
Something must change. Either very soon, or later.
The Unknown
'Day by day, I would grow increasingly restless. And whatever was out there, it seemed to call out on me as sleepless nights would turn into days, and days into months. And pfft! Just like that, 12 months had ended.'
My mind was full of doubts but I felt fearless. The #unknown seemed so scary, but nevertheless, it looked so enchanting with all the possibilities.
Day by day, I would grow #increasinglyrestless. And whatever was out there, it seemed to call on me as #sleeplessnights would turn into days, and days into months. And pfft! Just like that, 12 months had ended.
Finally, a #decision was made: With high hopes to get all the pieces together, I quit my longtime job in the print media, and said goodbye to a place that had been home for a decade and a half.
By yearend, everything was all set. I embarked on a journey to the "unknown" to find my "missing piece." The moment I stepped out of the #Inquirer building on my last day at work, it was then the real adventure began.
Aimless Wandering
My quest wasn't about #relationships, or the proverbial #soulmate almost everybody is hoping to meet. It was about my #purpose -- that one thing that would send me scurrying to work, or make me lose track of time, or something deeply engaging it would all be worth my lack of sleep.
So, I hatched a plan: Break into the #legalindustry and get into #lawschool after.
Two weeks later, I found myself in a #lawfirm testing the water: New job. New office. New colleagues. But becoming a #paralegal out of a sudden was never at all fitting -- to my personality, to my lifestyle, to my ever restless soul. Three months into it and I quit.
For sure, I got lost in my #journey. I came out of jobs, plans and relationships quite more confused than I was before. But in the end, I found myself just the same. The realization was like a kick in the gut: Where I had been (media industry) was exactly where I was supposed to be. But I had left that place, where good and happy memories were made.
Missing Piece
'Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.' - Vanilla Sky
Venturing into the unknown to discover your purpose is such a brave act to take, but nothing is much more courageous than going back to the first thing that you fell in love with. I knew I had to trace back my steps to find the #missingpiece for which I had set out on a journey. "Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around," actress Penelope Cruz once said in the movie "Vanilla Sky." So, it was never too late to turn around and go back.
I found my missing piece when I allowed God to steer me where He wanted me to go. And it happened while working on a job I wanted but never needed. It was a #highpaying post in a #government agency. Needless to say, it was highly stressful and exhausting, too. Soon, I was pouring out my frustration in heartfelt prayers.
Determined to carve out my niche and finally live a #dreamcareer, I sent out applications to almost a hundred companies in my search for the right one. Lots of them called, and I turned down lots of them, too. It went on for several weeks till I had grown tired.
In October 2019, #God finally answered my #prayer: I had fervently wished to get back the same work schedule I had when I was still with the Inquirer, but this time, a #financiallyrewarding and #emotionallyfulfilling job in the same field that will also afford me more time to rest. I was aiming to become a #businessreporter, but God granted me something much more than that.
I was hired as a #financialeditor in one of the newsrooms of a global company. From the very first item down to the minutest detail of a job I had prayed hard for, God had granted it. The highlight? I now work as a #financialjourno, but I can finally get to rest on weekends for two days. (Back in the day, I would take off Fridays and Saturdays, missing out on a lot of gatherings/family bonding).
Hits and Misses
In 2017, I left the #mediaindustry for good in my quest to become someone else. But all along, I was and am a #journalist by #profession and always will be a #writer by heart. In the end, I was back to where I started: In the #newsroom. The only difference it made is the big realization that no matter what I do, my love for #writing will never go away.
Soon enough, I was back in the newsroom, writing and #editing. And at home, I would be doing personal projects that have someting to do with #design and #digitalmedia (#filming, #editing, #graphicdesign, #interiordesign, and #blogging). Add to that my interest in #music and #healthycooking.
Sometimes, you need to step back a little to get a perspective of the #biggerpicture with clarity and see for yourself what have you been missing. In the end, you will come full circle and realize that the only place that you have not tried looking in is within yourself. And the irony of it all is that, you'd always get surprised at your stupidity. "Why didn't you realize it early on?"
The Simplicity of Happiness
I have learned a thing or two for the years that went by. One, never enter relationships with the wrong reason, or else it will fail. And second, choose a job that you will always love and enjoy.
Those two years had been quite a journey to the unknown, with several hits and misses along the way. But the real catch is, I discovered the simplicity of #happiness, just by looking inside myself and what has long been buried within.
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